27 now… ace birthday with mates. I had presents of an Aussie theme.. a kangaroo with a baby in it’s pouch (although actually it was just the baby roo’s head on a peice of elastic -spooky), a “special crossword pen” that has a punching kangaroo on top, a sign saying “G’day Sydney”, a boomerang, a hat with Sydney and a UFO on it, and a stubby cooler. Stumbled home, thankfully avoiding the temptation to email people drunk.

I woke up at 3 am with drank-and-smoked-too-much palpatations (don’t laugh, it’s really nasty), having had a dream I had been on a 3 day cocaine binge with Liam Gallagher at his country mansion, built foolishly close to the white cliffs of Dover…. I remember thinking “Stupid sod, hasn’t he heard of chalk? The whole house could tumble off these rocks at any minute…” then later, after spending some quality time with him, I became convinced he was actually a creative genius and quite intelligent.

I couldn’t make these things up.